Ripple Effect - Part II

Very Superstitious

My mother is a very superstitious person. My father also but my mother was more verbal about it. To this day I when I accidentally step on a crack I’m on the phone calling my mother to see if her back’s ok.

Not too long ago I made a personal pact with myself regarding how I would handle a certain situation in my life. I believed that as long as I stuck to my promise, that things in my life would flow smoother. Well, this weekend I regressed. (By the way, I’m not talking about drinking or drugs or eating that piece of tiramisu that I oh so wanted after dinner on Friday.) And in so doing I found I was very disappointed in myself. Not only that, now I have this great fear that things are going to tumble into oblivion in regard to my life because I defaulted on my promise. I curse my mother for teaching me her superstitious ways… NO WAIT… I take that back!!!!

Ripple Effect

I remember one time, years ago when my PMS hormones were pretty much taking over and my mood was just miserable, I came home and just let into the guys who, up to that point, were having a great day. By the end of the evening, everybody was in a different room doing their own thing and not speaking and not only that, the air was pretty blue. Since no one was interested in talking to me by evenings end I had time to think about that whole situation and realized that I had dumped all my crankiness onto the guys and their high spirits were doused like a pail of water over a lit candle. Even the dog was walking around tail tucked between his legs! I had changed the whole atmosphere in the house within minutes and set the mood for the rest of the evening. I remember thinking to myself how much of what I said or did influenced the people that I love. Needless to say I became more mindful of my mood swings after that.

We have a code here at work. When someone is in a grumpy mood or in a mood where they just don’t want to be at work, we call it a “paying the rent day” or just “rent day”, in other words the only reason why we are there is to make money to pay the rent. What is cool about proclaiming “rent day” is that this is a warning to all that "I am rather grumpy and stay out of my way, no offence." What I find curious though is that when you proclaim this, it never fails that one of us tries to cheer up the other and most times it works.

Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own little space we forget that we do influence others. Betty Eadie in her book 'Embraced By The Light' talks about the "ripple effect". Where in her NDE (near death experience), she was made aware of the affect of her negativeness and the rippling effect that resulted and was carried on to others she didn't even know. She was mortified to think that one flippant remark or cranky mood hurt so many people. Luckily, she was also shown how the ripple effect worked when she treated people in a kind and loving manner and she was confident that the two balanced out… YES, KARMA!

It takes a conscious effort to always be kind and loving to people. We get annoyed or hurt and our reaction to that hurt is not always a loving response. I think once well practiced, the effort of being kind pays off and becomes a natural part of your every day life. A friend of mine once wrote this about how he copes with negativity “I am not immune to the criticism and commentary from the people around me. I just never let it change me. I don’t truly internalize it.” And maybe there in lies the key.

If we know who we are and are content with ourselves, then negative annoyances in life are minor and our response to them will also be minor.

But most importantly we must be kind and loving to ourselves. Be kinder to yourself and you are kinder to others and on and on it goes…