My Life is Brilliant, My Love Is Pure

Those two lines that begin James Blunt’s song “You’re Beautiful” are such amazing lines. I first heard this song in Italy last year. They played it a lot and I mean a lot! It became a part of the daily ritual of living and learning to be alive while I was there.

Lately I have felt like a snake going through it’s moulting stage, trying to break free from my old skin. It feels like it has been a long time coming and the me that has been waiting to break from this binding thickness of scales, can no longer be patient. I am eager to get past this hard leathery layer that has kept me captive for so long. It is my time and I believe I am ready.

Tomorrow I start with my personal trainer. This is the commencement of my commitment to become a healthier person. Cheryl and I will not only work on the physical but we will also discuss nutrition as well. No diet, just healthier, more responsible food choices along with exercise.

I have already put my emotional issues into perspective along with my self-esteem, my worldview and my past baggage. All in all it has been a process that seemed so incredibly laborious and one that seemed to take great effort on my part.

I discovered something very important about myself recently. I realized that I have used “low self-esteem” as an excuse for not taking responsibility for my life. I have acted like some kind of victim. I have always known deep in my heart that I am a remarkable person and worthy of all good things that come my way. Somehow I just didn’t want to own it, it was easier to use unworthiness or low self-esteem as an excuse not to take charge of my life and move forward.

God, it has taken me 53 years to open up and take responsibility for my life… that’s a long time. I do admit, the struggle was self imposed, but the lessons learned from experiences brought forth because of those stuggles have been phenomenal to say the least. It’s like winning an award where you want to thank everybody for getting you to the place that you are at...

“I’d like to thank my PARENTS, siblings, school chums, my grade 5 teacher, old boyfriends, my late, loving, husband GARY, my son NICK, best friend L.L., close friend E.D., the Diva 7 group, J, ex-Lovers, my co-workers, M.D., Paddy, FoChMaC, my DOG, my home...oh CANADA..., ITALY, the PeRsOn who smiled at me the other day on the elevator”… the list could go on forever!

Yesterday I was talking with mydear friend E.D. We were talking about man’s desire to live. She said, “Yes, it would be so easy to die. As in it doesn’t take much for our lives to stop.” “Yet,” I said, “Isn’t it amazing just that one act of breathing...air in...air out... is testament that we all want to live otherwise we’d just will that function to stop.

So many of us take the art of living so for granted.

I learned a lot about the simplicity of life while living in Italy. That experience was so rich, I am still digesting the effect it had on me. Here are more examples of this to rest your eyes on.