You Can't Please All The People All The Time

For a good portion of my life I have had short hair. Three years ago I decided that I would like to grow it long. It is now shoulder length. I have yet to dye my hair, mostly because I like the grey (see “An Admirable Right of Passage” below). Sometimes, I just let my hair go curly (as it is naturally wavy), other times I curl it so that it will be straighter. (I know, sounds weird but it is the truth.)

My neighbour and long-time friend RB likes my hair when it is curly, my good friend Gail says that I should either get my hair cut or put it up, as wearing it long makes my face look drawn out and old… Today was one of those days Gail felt kind enough to give me her honest opinion, yet again, (bless her heart) by saying, yet again… “It makes you look drawn in your face and old”.

“Gail, I will be 53 at the end of the week… I am old!”

Yet, I still found myself running to the washroom after her comment checking myself out in the mirror, and asking my co-worker Arlene if she thought I looked old (I am shaking my head at the thought of this). Finally, I said to myself, “What the hell are you doing?” Why is Gail’s view of you more important than what you think?

I like who I am. I like my hair, my body type, how I dress, and how I present myself. They are representations of who I am. My soul or core being has always been warm,compassionate and loving. It has always embraced and loved the being that I am. It is only when I think that other people’s opinions of me are more important and or I allow other’s opinions of me to override how I truly feel about myself, that I get all upset and scrambled in my head about how I should be.

There will never be a shortage of people who are willing to tell you that you are not living up to their expectations of what you should look like or how to behave or be in this world. But what I have come to realize it this...that when people criticize you or, “as a friend” constructively make comments on how they think that you should look, act, or respond to certain situations, it is more about their discomforts not yours. That’s not to say that some criticisms can be very beneficial, it just means that before we react to those criticisms, we should be mindful of the perspective from which they came.

We are all so unique and special why would we ever want to be the same as anybody else? This has taken me not quite 53 years to acknowledge, believe and truly embrace!

You just can’t please all the people all the time… and why would you really want to?