Letting Go

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. ~Alan Cohen ~

I’m not sure why it is always hard for me to let go of things that are worn out or past their due date, (and I’m not just talking about clothing and food here either). Do I like the agony of “wondering why” 24 hours, 7 days a week? Not really. I guess it’s just easier to hang onto something that at the time seemed so real, yet in reality was an illusion.

If you haven’t clued in yet I am talking about relationships. When it comes to love I am a sucker for punishment, love is truly my kryptonite. I’m not sure why I can’t accept the fact that I am this remarkable person with strengths equal to Superman. Ok maybe not Superman but surely Superwoman and that no man is worth hanging onto if he is not able to live up to my desires! My friend Maggie says when I love, I love passionately, which in turn sets me up for some major falls…. Why? For me, it’s all about expectations and what I believe I am worthy of. I’m not willing to settle for anything less than what equals my passion.

But enough of love for now… and back to letting go of other things. I have been procrastinating for the last year about purging the house. There are so many unnecessary objects, boxes, books, memorabilia that have found a home in every nook and cranny of my house, I swear they are worse than the dust bunnies that use to hang out all over my house. That is until I hired a house cleaner at the beginning of the year to exterminated them.

Going through boxes is so tedious, and I don’t dare have my son with me. Nick, well he makes a pack rat look like Felix Unger (for those of you who don’t know Felix is the cleaner half of the “Odd Couple”). Everything is sentimental to Nick.

I have two large boxes downstairs that contain every tin I have ever collected. My girlfriend asked me this Christmas if I had any tins I could spare for her extra baking. I eagerly volunteered to give away some of the tins I had packed in these two huge boxes thinking this would be a good start to cleaning out the basement, but when Nick and I started to go through them, (and there must be at least 100 per box or more)… we were only able to come up with 5 to give away. I know, I KNOW… I’m in big trouble!

I should ask my neighbour Al to come over and sweep through the basement. He’s a big advocate of cleaning through things. He keeps telling me I need to get into that garage and sort through all the tools that my late husband has in there. That way when I needed a tool I would know where it was. Hell, after this past weekend I still don’t know the difference between tin snips and pruning sheers! Al often does one of these massive sweeps in his own garage, where his wife Pat puts a lot of her gardening things. She shakes with fear when Al goes on one of his cleaning sprees. She usually loses a few things in the sweep and ends up digging in the garbage later to retrieve them! There would be no mercy if Al hit my basement I am sure!

I keep saying I will get it done on the weekends. Problem is, working a fulltime job, my weekends are usually booked doing catch-up on the regular chores like laundry and grocery shopping… reading books, watching movies… Well I do have to have some fun don’t I?

Seriously? My goal is to get the house cleared out by year end and like any other project I have ever attempted in my life, including studying for finals when I was going to school, I will leave it to the last second, panic, and stress about it, eventually ending up with a nervous breakdown.

But, like my son says, after finally giving him an ultimatum, because I’ve hounded him for days to get something done… (“Get the job done by X or else there’s hell to pay!). Especially if it takes any kind of physical exertion on his part… “Mom, I'll get it done, let it go. I'll do it when I'm ready... besides, I work best under pressure!”

Ah, a chip off the old block!

There is nothing adventurous in a task as monumental as getting rid of things in your home that you don’t need. Especially if they have been piling up since you moved into your place and or you are sentimental about every single thing. And as for empowerment, it sounds more like a task in frustration and exertion when you come right down to it!

I tend to prefer to follow the wise words of my heroine Scarlet O’Hara when she said… “I’ll think about that tomorrow”

Today, my creation… Chocolate Chip, low fat, muffins for Nick… Raspberry muffins for me. Nick says that’s not creative… I say how bout making them yourself?!
Photos to follow.