FAITH

I have been suffering from a sinus, ear and throat cold. The incessant coughing has me home today and since the action of writing doesn’t include a vocal word, here I am.

The absence of the dogs in the house is more than peaceful it is heavenly. All three of us (Heather, Nick and myself) have been expressing over and over again just how calm and serene it is.

“They” say, the wisdoms of the universe, that events are placed in your life for a reason. I’m not quite sure what that whole dog thing was about, but I did learn some lessons in the experience of it all. I learned that although spontaneity is important in our lives, impulsive decisions based on reckless emotions are not. That wanting to love and be love is natural and part of who we all are, being needy and desperate are not. To be independent is admirable but that we all need help every now and again and it is important to listen to and act upon the advice and welcomed comfort of our closest and dearest loved ones. That sometimes their objective view of a situation brings clarity and a better decision can be made.

Speaking of clarity, I have been praying for some in my life over the past six months or more and I have been taking steps to try and get myself to move forward. Making several drastic decisions recently has shaken up my system and my mind, body and soul feel like they have all been in this large train wreck. E.D. mentioned something about it last time I spoke to her. I don’t remember her exact words but she said that I have been shaking a lot up in my life and that I am somewhat disoriented right now or that’s how I interpreted it. Thing is, I thought she was very right. Also taking this “Personal Best” program where we get to the bottom of much that is holding us back has shaken the core of my whole system and I have had to begin to re-align myself to a more authentic me. It’s a pretty damn scary thing if I do say so myself but I keep telling myself that the results of taking the bull by the horns, taking action regarding my life has remarkable payoffs in the end.

My friend C.K. called me this weekend. We have not spoken in a very long time but she also has shaken the core of her being and begun to move forward and make changes in her life. After feeling quite run down and out of sorts, C.K. went to a Naturopath. The doctor took some tests then told C.K. that if she didn’t walk away from her job for at least 6 months, that she would get quite ill and eventually risk her life. C.K. at first resisted but eventually let go of what it was she did not want to do and began testing the things she felt she had a passion for and is pursuing avenues to find out where it is she’d most like to be. She actually was brave enough to walk away from her job and although she is in a semi-limbo state right now, she is willing to be open to the opportunities that come her way in order to find her natural being.

I must admit, I am feeling the same way CK did before she went to the Naturopath. I am hoping by following through on this “Personal Best” program that I will be able to find a compromise between job and satisfaction in my job or find the will and clarity of mind to understand that my passions are beyond what it is I do now and trust that if I do decide to walk away from my job that it will be because I have opened and received the opportunities that have been placed before me, that up to this point I have ignored.

I have been using many excuses to keep myself locked into this position. E.D. once gave me a card with a saying inside it. It is from one of my favourite authors, Richard Bach and it goes something like this… “Argue your limitations and sure enough they are yours.”

Our power, our will, our abilities are limitless. I know this in my heart and spirit; I just need to convince my mind.

It all comes down to faith in the end, faith in God and the universe, faith in one's self and ability to do anything we choose to do.