Ok what the hell is MENOPOT?
Well, according to Doctor Pamela Peeke, author of 'Body for Life for Women'
“As estrogen downshifts, fat is rerouted toward the upper body and waist… the middle-aged pouch differs from the excess visceral abdominal fat that’s linked to heart problems, diabetes, and cancer. The only downside of the menopot, she says, is “a little consternation when you’re trying to zip up your skirt or pants in the morning.”
Well, according to Doctor Pamela Peeke, author of 'Body for Life for Women'
“As estrogen downshifts, fat is rerouted toward the upper body and waist… the middle-aged pouch differs from the excess visceral abdominal fat that’s linked to heart problems, diabetes, and cancer. The only downside of the menopot, she says, is “a little consternation when you’re trying to zip up your skirt or pants in the morning.”
Somethin for you youngans' to look forward to! Oh give me a break! They have a name for my lethargy for exercise, my lack of discipline in eating and the result of both. They call it menopot, I call it laziness that creates a fat stomach!!!! Menopot sounds like something illegal to me! Peeke does reassure me though that, “Focused efforts – including regular cardio that pares calories – help flatten it." DUH! I think they've been telling us that for years dearies!!!!
What a polite way of saying what we all know... Ladies, get off your fat ass and get exercising and while you're at it, try some good eating habits to maintain a decent body weight and good health.
This dove-tales nicely into my story about my zipper pants. Remember a few months back I searched high and low for a pair of zipper pants and found a pair that didn’t cost a fortune? Well yesterday I tried them on as I wanted to test sitting in them. I will be in those pants for a grand total of about 20+ hours straight (8 hour flight to London from Calgary, 8 hour stop over in London where we will be doing a quick tour of the city, then another 5 hours in the air until we reach Nairobi). First off, I had a hard time buttoning up the damn things… how could this be, then I sat in them, for about two minutes and I knew that I was not going to last long without popping the zipper and I don’t mean the ones that zip the bottoms off to shorts.
How could this be, I mean how many months has it been, one, two at the most? How could I have gained that much weight in that short of time? Working over lunches, passing the fitness center seeing Evelyn and Maggie pounding away at the treadmill while I wave to them from the hallway carrying my won ton soup back to my desk. And when I get home after work, my dog resting his sad little head on my lap as I collapse on the couch from exhaustion saying, “Sorry Teddy not tonight, I’m too tired to walk.” Oh please, I was just too damn lazy to get my ass in gear and get out there.
I have a hundred million reasons why I can’t do it. Too tired, too dark, too windy, too cold, too hot, too bloated, hair is too messy… Yes girls, a million good excuses but the truth is I'm just not interested in pushing myself like I use to. Fitness expert Kathy Smith says this about that, “At this point, (as point being those menopause years of 50+) loss of muscle mass and tone really shows.” DUH again! And I am so total proof of this. But she also reassures me… “While the physical changes at this age may be hard to take at first, ultimately you shift into an acceptance mode. You change what you can, and you live with what you can’t. It’s a gentler way.” I say thank you Kathy for at least having some empathy for my complacency!
So here’s the plan. I’ve fattened myself up for Africa. While there, I don’t plan to eat anything because I don’t want to get sick. You know no health inspectors checking out the kitchens there. I will stock up on protein and vitamin bars, eat only them and fruit, lose like 50 lbs and will work hard at maintaining that new weight level until the day I die. Yes, and pigs fly… well they do you know, I’ve seen one! Ok well maybe that was a cloud.
The Mystery Solved
On another note, as in ring tone, I found my phone. Well, I personally didn’t find it. I was all fussed about it as you know and when Nicholas came home after his late class last night, I told him about it. “Oh,”… sheepish grin. "I took it Mom." And like Roxanne said that Forest Gump said…"that’s all I’m going to say about that.”
So kids, 13 more sleeps. It’s 8 pm already and I haven’t gotten any clothes laid out for work tomorrow, not that anything fits me anymore!
Did you exercise today?
4 comments:
I have not exercised today. . .and even though I am only 37, I most definitely have menopot--had to laugh at that term. . .just who thinks these things UP???
Glad you found you phone. :)
Those vita-bars and protein bars are good! Hope there's bottled water there also :)
I know those same excuses...
hehe- my word verification: slkghr
(slacker!)
haha! You know- the more I look at that word, menopot, the more I say it aloud, the funnier it gets! I wanted to turn it around, "pot-o-men" and then I'm laughing out loud, looking at my very own pot-o-men, men-o-pot!
I know, meno- as in menopause, but to add the word pot just cracks me up! It's not enough we women have the supposed penis-envy, we also apparently have pot-belly envy. And while a man's potbelly is the result of much beer and potato chips, ours is divinely due to a natural hormonal shift, and we can't help that! ha ha!
Why, I propose a new word for our rounded middle:
pooch
The other day I went to buy Tony some of his shampoo. . .Clairol Herbal Essence Clarifying. . .but now they have TOTALLY revamped the Clairol line and have names like "Drama Clean." (No lie.) Anyway--I had to find him something else that was "clarifying" but not too girly--low and behold if Suave has not come our with a men's line of shampoo.
So, at some point I go it into my head that it was "Man-poo" instead of "Sham-poo" and I just CANNOT STOP LAUGHING ABOUT IT.
Tony doesn't find it nearly so amusing.
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